Hey, you didn’t even notice I was gone, did you?
It’s alright. I wasn’t aware of what you were doing over the last month, so it’s only fair that you weren’t keeping tabs on me either. Gosh, we’re just so in sync with each other, you and me. Let’s be friends forever.
Anyway, I haven’t posted in quite some time, and there’s a good reason for that. Normally when I go a while without posting something on here, it’s because I’m lazy. Pure and simple. Often I’ll go “I should write something on that wordpress site”, then I immediately follow up that thought with “Nah, I’ll go eat animal crackers instead” and then I’ll go eat animal crackers or something.
Even more often than that, I’ll just be eating animal crackers anyway, with no thoughts whatsoever, because I’m actually very stupid.
Those are the two primary reasons I go long periods without writing; I’m lazy and I’m stupid.
But not this time. This time I have an excuse. And it’s a doozy. I’ve been out-of-action for the last month because I’ve been on my – wait for it – keep waiting for it – wait for it a little longer – honeymoon. That’s right, I’ve been swanning about (is that a saying?) around the world, hand-in-hand with my beautiful wife, celebrating our recent nutpials. Cue the studio audience “awwww” sound.
So in case you were getting all “Why hasn’t Brad written anything?”, that’s why. Okay? Is that acceptable to you? Can you deal with that?
Listen. I know you totally didn’t/still don’t care that I wasn’t around, but I like to pretend you do. I also like to pretend I’m a giraffe, and I walk around my house knocking stuff over with my huge neck. But that’s just for me to know, and for you to now also know because I just told you.
Now for the part of this post where I actually give you some information. In the fire, I currently have two logs. I have a third “Writing Exercise Short Story” in the works (because nobody has told me to stop yet), and I’ve also finally started working on that novel I’ve been not-writing for the past decade.
So there you have it. A whole lot of drivel, just to tell you I’m working on two things. I could have saved you a lot of time, saved me a lot of typing, and saved wordpress a billionth of its storage space, and just not told you anything. I bet you wish I did.
Now go eat an apple, and keep that pesky doctor away.