I have no idea what this post is about.
A few minutes ago, I became overwhelmed by the urge to write a new blog post. My brain went into hyperdrive, “Write a new post! Write a new post!” and now here I am, writing a new post.
Although, I’ll be completely honest with you; I have no idea what to write about. My brain didn’t get that far. It poked and prodded at me enough to make me log into WordPress, and click the ‘New Post’ button. But as soon as I got there, it said “You’re on your own, dickhead.”
And that leaves us here. I’m writing something with absolutely no idea where it’s going, or why I’m doing it.
I obviously just wanted to say SOMETHING. Anything. It doesn’t matter what, just as long as my inflated ego can propel my oh-so-wonderful-and-important thoughts out there into the world. I don’t have a message, I just have a soapbox.
Oh dear god. I’ve become what I hate. I’ve become one of the 99% of people on the internet who just want to stand up and be heard, for no good reason. The people who pick a cause (any cause will do), and stand on a social media soapbox so they can feel like they’re being noticed. The people who get on a high-horse simply because it’s a better stage than a low-horse. The people who yell “Rape Culture!” or “White Privilege!” or “Give Dolphins More Free Cake!” or whatever is the popular thing to rage against/for on that particular day.
I hate those people, and now it appears I have become one.
Of course, the real question I have for myself is “Did I just become this, or is this what I have always been?” Maybe I’ve always been an attention-whore. Maybe I’ve always needed validation from strangers. Is that why I have this blog? Is that why I’m on Twitter? Is that why I became a stand up comic?
I had no idea where this post was gonna go, and now that we’re there, I don’t like where I ended up. I’m digging holes in my own mind that I’m not sure I wanna dig.
Ah screw it. This is obviously who I am. I am this. I am just another aimless voice, misdirected by its own undeserved sense of self-importance.
“Hear what I have to say, internet! I am important! I am smart! I am valid! I am standing up so you can see me! Elevate me, worthless peons, for I deserve greatness!”
Wow. I’m as surprised about this as you are.
I’m gonna go get a coffee. You want one?