If you can’t be bothered reading the below post in full, here is a summary: The best lamb shanks in the world are in Tawa.
Now for the whole story:
I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been places. Yeah, that’s right. You know you’re jealous. You’re like “I’ve never been anywhere” and I’m like “Shame”.
Another thing I’ve done is eat lamb shanks in every country I’ve been to, apart from Mexico. It’s nothing personal, Mexico. It’s just that I didn’t spend long in your country, and most of the time I was too tequila’d to actually order something from a menu. Plus, I don’t know if you do lamb shanks in your country. Does Mexico do lamb shanks? That’s a question for another time.
The point is, I’ve had lamb shanks all over the world. I’ve enjoyed lamb shanks in Australia, both coasts of the USA, the UK, France, all over my native New Zealand, and even in Sweden. The reason I bring this to light now is that I have just discovered the best lamb shanks in the world.
The most delicious, mouth-watering, perfect lamb shanks in all the world can be found right here in New Zealand. I needn’t have bothered travelling.
In fact, not only are they in New Zealand, they’re actually in my little suburban neighbourhood.
That’s right, the best lamb shanks on the planet can be found at The Roundabout in Tawa. Last Friday night, my fiancee and I decided to have dinner at our little local place, only having dined on bar-type food there in the past, such as pizza and fries.
I ordered the lamb shanks from the dinner menu, unsure if I had made the right decision (it’s always hard to choose between lamb shanks, steak, or ribs), but what the waiter brought to the table pushed those concerns right out the window. It pushed them hard. Those concerns were a ba-jillion miles away. They were so far away, I used a made-up number. That’s pretty far.
The meal supplied to me, on which I hungrily dined, was nothing shy of absolute perfection. The meat, delicious and tender, was something I would liken to heaven (if heaven was anything more than an imaginary notion used to comfort weak-minded gullible idiots), the mashed potato was a consistency I would describe as legendary, and the gravy – OH DEAR GOD THE GRAVY – was astounding.
My fiancee had the burger, and didn’t seem to have any complaints. She gave me a small piece of the smoky bacon that came with it, and that was painfully good as well.
The only suggestion I have for improving the lamb shanks at The Roundabout in Tawa, is that they could add little chopped up bits of that smoky bacon, and they will have created the most amazing thing on the planet.
I know this whole thing sounds like blatant hyperbole, but you don’t know shit. Shut up. What do you know? Have you tried the lamb shanks I’m talking about? If you have, let me know if I’m wrong. If you haven’t, go try them before you say anything. You’ll thank me.
If you’re from The Roundabout, listen to me right now. Please add a little bit of smoky bacon to your lamb shanks. I’m serious. You’ll have a real winner.
Initially, I was hesitant to write this post, because I am not a food critic. Food critics, for the most part, are pretentious over-analysing wankers who want nothing more than to pretend they’re cultured and belittle things that don’t deserve it.
But I put that aside because I just simply had to tell you how good this food is. If you’re in Wellington, make a plan to get your ass to The Roundabout in Tawa.