Wow, it’s already June; can you believe it? Well, you should believe it, because it’s true. If you didn’t believe it, that would mean you’re wrong and, quite possibly, crazy. Stop being a crazy person and start rejoicing that it is now the month of June.
Actually at the time of me writing this, there may be quite a few places in the world in which it is still the 31st of May (on account of time differences and various other scientific and worldly principles which are above my comprehension). So if you don’t believe it’s June yet, then you’re either wrong, crazy, or foreign. None of these are acceptable.
Now I sound like a racist. Thanks for doing that to me, time zones. You made me sound racist. First I was all like “It’s not okay to be wrong” and “It’s not okay to be crazy” but now, somehow, you’ve made me go “It’s not okay to be a dirty dirty foreigner”. Nice going.
Anyway, it’s June. That means it’s the beginning of winter. Shit’s gon’ get real cold up in dis bitch, y’all. That’s nothing to celebrate. Unless you’re an Eskimo. Although they prefer the term ‘Innuit’, so once again I’m racist. God damn it. Actually there is no god, and Christians are retarded. What the hell is wrong with me? I wanted to write about June, but this is just hate-mongering drivel.
Okay, so June is also the month in which I will turn 25 years old. That’s a quarter century. That’s how old I am going to be this month. I will now be measuring my life span in terms of centuries… like a wizard.
The month of June has somehow made me a racist, hate-mongering wizard.
June is very powerful indeed. Watch your back, other months. June is plotting…