Easter, or as our Muslim “friends” call it, The Long Infidel Weekend, is now upon us.
In today’s modern world, Easter means many different things, to many different people, from many different walks of life.
To some, it means a period of worship, repentance, and remembrance of their lord and saviour. We call these people “retarded”.
To some, it’s a time to spend with family and loved ones (these may be different groups of people, depending on how much your family annoys the hell out of you). It’s a time to treat your children, and one another, with delicious chocolatey gifts of goodness.
To some, it’s just time off work.
To me, however (since I’m such an individual and all that jazz), it’s a time to justify my overwhelming hatred for organised religion. Fuck you, organised religion. (Yeah, take that. You didn’t see that one coming, did you Jesus? But I guess you can’t know everything… especially when you don’t exist…faggot).
Don’t get offended that I said the word ‘faggot’. I mean no disrespect to gay people. I like gay people. Gay people are awesome. Christians, however, are faggots. When you say “Have I told you about my lord and saviour, Jesus Christ?”, all I hear is “Have I told you I’m a faggot?”
Grow up, and ditch the imaginary friend, okay? And that’s not just Christians I’m talking to. It’s also Jews, Mormons, Scientologists, Muslims, and every other enormous group of delusional fuckheads out there.
I implore you. Until you let go of your ridiculous belief system, and lack of acceptance for the real world that’s right in front of your stupid doo-doo-head face, we will never move forward as a species.
Religion is no longer valid in society. I thank you for the things you did in the past, you really made strides (thousands of years ago), but it’s time to go away now. You’re out. Hey Common Sense, come over here…it’s your time to shine.
My apologies go out to everyone who read this hoping for something funny. I let you down. In an effort to get back into your good graces, here’s a little something you may like.
Trust me. It’s good.
Peace out, holiday people.